Hi everyone,
An update on my journey to making my own guardian angel as I do for others.  This has been very enlightening indeed.  When I create an angel for someone, the process goes pretty much the same, I center myself, give thanks, and ask just the angel I am creating to come forward front and center to my mind's eye so I can see them, feel them, get a sense of their personality.  I often get images right away, and I start to pull fibers.  In a way I hear them saying "not that blue, a deeper one", or "oh, I hadn't thought of that, that is nice."  I don't hear clear voices, it is more like a thought in my head that isn't really mine.  And sometimes I seem to lose the "connection" to them and I have to either re-group or stop and come back later. 

So I centered, and asked my angel to come forth.  I said "I am creating an angel for Claire Demarest, please have her primary, feminine energy angel come to the forefront."  I saw the purples again and felt confident it was her showing me and not me making it up.  She gave me much clearer images this time.  She was in a very full dress with a tight bodice.  Her hair is dark blonde with ringlets, swooped up on her head with some cascading down.  And then she seemed to take a deep breath and show me that her aura is gold.
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My next step was to look at all my fibers, and start pulling out ones I think are what she showed me. Here is what I pulled.  I went back and forth and back and forth.   Some were to bold or bright, not quite the color she showed me.  The second image is what I narrowed it down to.

As I started working, I noticed that it felt very comfortable, it felt very familiar, more like she was looking over my shoulder and guiding me, not presenting herself in my mind's eye.  I realized that I feel this a lot, and maybe just wasn't realizing in my daily life that this was her.  I asked if this was true and the thought I got back was "Of course.  This is how we work together, I am showing you that I am always with you, whispering behind you into your ear.  This is how we work together, it is different than when you call on someone's angel.  You are trying to do this process of making me as you do other's, but we are actually going to practice working together as we do always."

The next hour was more like a conversation, us working together, collaborating what fibers to use and how she would look.  She was pretty clear on some things, and on other things, such as the detail work, she got excited about something I pulled out and said "oh, let's try that" or "can we do this instead".  I asked her why she kept changing her mind and why she had me redo a few things.  She said simply "Because I can."  I said that was a little presumptuous.  And then several layers of her meaning came forth. 

First, she was doing this partly for practice with me.  Trusting, getting to know her "thoughts" verses my own.  I realized what a gift this is.  She was showing me that I can actually have that much of a connection with angels and how cool is that!  Second, she simply enjoyed it and reminded me it is as much about the process, the joy of being in the moment, as it was about the "finished product."  And let me tell you, she was enjoying the process. Finally, it was reminding me how fun and rewarding it is for angels to be able to take a more dense form - my gift to these angels is helping them, even if as a small soft sculpture, to have form. 

When it came to her wings, she most definitely showed me the very large, white wings that point up to the sky.  I saw them as having quite large, distinctive wings tips going all the way down.  I started to make them, and she changed her mind, liking the more wispy feel of the ones I made.  Then came the halo.  She kept showing it as a glow, not an actual halo, and reminded me that halos are the way painters tried to portray the aura they saw around the head of the angels.  That it is not a physical thing, it is their aura.  And hers is gold.  So I am still working on it, nothing I do seems quite right.

And her hair is not quite right yet either.  I need to create tiny ringlets still.  Finally, she wants some gold bead work, so I am still working on that.  Oh, and finally, finally, she wants her arms to be a darker purple, with less pink.  Yep.  I tried to be okay with the lack of ringlets in her hair, and her sleeves being a little too pink, but every time I think about her or look at her, those pop into my head.  As I sit here, I know those are my thoughts more than hers.  That is my need as an artist to get it right.  I think this is a good thing, if I am going to make an artistic, physical representation of the image they show me, I want it to be accurate, and what they want it to be.

So, minus those things I just mentioned, here she is in almost complete form!

So I'll try again.  I am not discouraged, actually, it honestly feels like she is near and kind of using this as a "teaching moment".  About trust, about confidence, and maybe even about getting unfinished projects done before embarking on new ones...

Tune In for my next attempt!
​Claire

Thank you for joining me on this journey.  I truly hope that through my experience you also gain insights and things to try to connect with your own guardian angels!

To remind you of my reason for doing this and sharing it with you, is that it really started bothering me that I can so easily connect with other's guardian angels, so why is it so hard to connect with my own?  I have never tried to connect with them in the way I do other people's during my creation process.  Since I am such a private person, I can only assume it was my angels who put this notion in my head to share it with all of you.

This is what happened today.  I decided to do a card pull to just see what was drawn.  I have many card decks, I admit.  A lot of them I don't actually use that much.  The first one you see is the first deck I received from Doreen Virtue during my "Angel Therapy Practitioner" training.  The $5 you see is the first payment I received from a fellow student during the last day of our training, when we did readings for each other.  I keep it in my deck to remind me of that amazing week long training I did.  I have never pulled this card before, I don't even recall seeing it in the deck.

     OMEGA CARD: Victory! Your desire is coming to fruition.  Keep up the good work!"  A little corny?  I agree, but read the message behind it.  This is what I pulled from that: "When you listen to what your heart whispers, you swim in natural synchronicity.  Stay relaxed and confident... if you notice problems... it simply means you are temporarily out of sync... no need for shame, simply release your doubts to Heaven, and rest assured that a happy outcome is yours."  

Next I pulled a card from my trusty companion deck with Archangel Michael.  I figure he will have something to say.  I was right, direct and to the point as always.

     ARCHANGEL MICHAEL CARD - YOU CREATED THIS SITUATION AND YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE IT: In summary, I took away this message.  "This card is a reminder that you are a powerful creator... you have the skills to rise above... as long as you blame you will remain stuck... Call upon God and Archangel Michael, and then take charge according to your (their) guidance... make a list of action steps and then follow through."

Of all the cards I could have pulled, these really hit home and are right on the money.  Good reminders, good support. 

So even though this journey is to artistically create and connect to my own guardian angels, clearly I have another guardian helping me out.  I am not sure of her name.  I at first thought I knew, but  like with my angels, am unsure of myself.  For the time being I am calling her Solace.  This is in honor of a truly amazing horse (black Tennessee Walker) that played a huge part in my life several years ago.  She has since passed, but has never been forgotten.  Who knows, maybe this is Solace still with me in a new-ish form?

Tune in to my next entry to see what happens next :).

Angel Blessings, 
Claire (& Solace)

I have decided to take a journey with my own guardian angels, and I invite you to join me.  I create artistic representations of guardian angels, and channel a message from them to the person I am making it for.  It comes easily to me, I love it, and believe I am very good at it.  So I thought, why not try my own?  Actually, I sat for a few minutes trying to connect with my guardian angels and this is the message/thought/insight that came to me.  It may be my own idea, or they may have planted it.  Either way, I like it!

I know I have my own angels, and I have received their names and messages from other angel practitioners, even a painting.  However, something has not felt quite right about it. I seem to have some sort of block with my own guardian angels.  I wonder if it is because the information I have needs to be tweaked or clarified, or, as much as I love and trust the people who have given me insights on my angels, to simply change. 

So… I am going to create my own as if I was a customer. I am going to document the process and share it with you, from my attempts, to my changes, to my messages, to photos of my process.  I hope this is valuable to you and can give you some insight into working with your own angels.  I know many of us have doubts that we in fact hearing our guides, understanding them, or even actually have them.  So maybe my insecurities can help decrease yours.

DAY 1:
The determination to do this.  This is two-fold - as in a decision to do and share this, and as a descriptor of what I will need to get through this.  I am a private person and don’t share a lot with strangers or even acquaintances and friends.  I can admit I have a fear of judgement and people thinking “Wow, she is not qualified to make my angel, she is too messed up herself”.  So now that is out of the way. Phew.

Releasing expectations.  This is huge, and something I also struggle with.  I think this will be a theme I revisit throughout the process.  An expectation of an outcome is like putting up a wall – it keeps truths you aren’t aware of from being able to come in.  This includes self-imposed pressures.  I need to let this journey unfold as it is supposed to.  I will journal on this tonight and give the summary in my next post.  No one needs to be a part of my inner dialogue…

Having Fun.  In almost every channeling message I do from people’s guardian angels, they tell their beloved human to HAVE MORE FUN! Nough said.

I am excited and apprehensive as I write this, but it feels right, so here we go!
 
Angel Blessings, Claire

I do not know the answer.  I did my truly life changing ‘Angel Therapy’ training with Doreen Virtue (well, technically that is, you don’t ever actually meet Doreen when you do entry level training with her for a week), and had an amazing mentor who also trained with her.  This so profoundly enhanced my career, faith, and understanding of angels and myself.  And also left a TON more questions.  At the time Doreen really seemed to be the “expert” on angels, at least in the U.S.  Now there are so many other well-known people who see, talk to, commune with, get messages from, and even claim to be Oracles or have a direct link to the “Spirit who is at the fingertip of God”.  These last ones are some pretty darn big claims.  Who am I to agree or disagree?  I am the most important person in the world…

…for me, that is.  Only I can know what to believe for me.  I can read and listen to, or even have private sessions with all these people listed below, and still not understand it all.  Wait, let me back up.  If I was very wealthy and somehow could move up on the 1 month to 1 year wait list to have a session with these amazing people, I could maybe start to understand it all.  Luckily, if there is one thing they all agree on, is that I have the power to connect directly with angels myself, and don’t actually need them to do it for me.  Phew.

I am not being negative towards anyone.  I am truly grateful for all insights from humans and communications from light beings that I can get!  I re-read this and almost took out the sarcastic parts.  But then I realized that is all part of our struggle together – what makes an “expert”?  Does the fact that they have a waiting list a mile long, can charge an arm and a leg to see people, and walk around with an entourage of helpers make them experts?  These are by-products of them being experts.  If they weren’t, no one would spend the time and money to see them, right?  I certainly don’t think any of them are frauds, and most don’t even seem to be coming from a place of ego.  Does that mean we blindly believe what they say?  Answering for myself, no, it does not.  It means I have great interest and respect for their insights, and decide ultimately for myself.

I have spent a lot of time and energy trying to get the answers from others.  I have read their books, listened to their podcasts, taken their meditation classes, had in-person readings, etc.  No cruises for me yet…  And I will continue to do this (read, not go on cruises) to learn and discover amazing new insights, ways of healing, meditating, and becoming closer to the angels, my guides, Jesus, and God.

My biggest lesson learned so far in all of this: my perspective on why I am doing this has changed.  I am no longer looking for them to tell me the answers.  I am looking within myself as I learn more, to know what feels right to me.  I am trusting my own judgement, my own intuition, my own religious and spiritual beliefs, my own sense of connection with the angels, to truly learn about angels.  Am I good at that yet?  Not really.

For example, some experts say you can just think an Archangel’s name and they will be at your side instantly.  Others say you actually have to perform a ritual, or at least set clear intent through actions.  I recently read Anthony Williams take on all this, and he is somewhere in-between.  At this current time in my thinking (I reserve the right to change this thinking at any moment) he is pretty close to what makes sense to me.

Then again Anthony claims that he talks to and sees the Spirit ‘Compassion’ who is literally at the fingertip of God.  Wait, isn’t that Jesus?  If anyone has compassion at its fullest and most Divine, it would be Jesus.  Jesus is certainly our most amazing example of a Divine Healer.  He was also a Mystic that we barely know anything about but sounds truly amazing.  Jesus tells us to see him in everything (Christian labeled or not).  Maybe I’ll just keep praying to him… and stop going off on this tangent.

Where I do feel confident is in my art.  When I make someone’s artistic representation of their guardian angel (http://www.sacredbalanceart.com), I trust myself, I trust that guardian angel to lead me, and I know that what I am doing is real.  When they come to me in color, texture, personality, and want to give a message, it feels perfect to me – my intuition knows, I feel exhilarated, I get in the zone.  And the many confirmations from my customers helps too!

I have made progress, and I have a ways to go yet.  I hope my struggles in this post help you to see you are not alone (come on admit it, you struggle too) and realize that truly believing for yourself, and in yourself, and what you learn about angels, makes you the most important person in the world…to you.

There are so many people out there communing with the angels and other light beings that we must just be getting started with our understanding.  After all, when we are humans, we are but blips in time compared to the life of an angel.  Huh, maybe there are no experts after all.  At least not yet…


Yours in Love, Light, and as always Angel Blessings,
Claire

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To help you on your journey, here is a list of amazing people who work with angels and other light beings:
http://www.medicalmedium.com/blog/essential-angels – Anthony Williams
http://www.lornabyrne.com/ – Lorna Byrne
http://www.angeltherapy.com/ – Doreen Virtue
http://mas-sajady.com/ – Mas Sajady
http://www.allaboutangels.org.uk/ – Jacky Newcomb
http://www.kylegray.co.uk/ – Kyle Gray
http://www.dianacooper.com/ – Diana Cooper
http://sylviabrowne.com/ – the late Sylvia Browne
https://www.amazon.com/Edgar-Angels-Archangels-Unseen-Forces-ebook/ – even Edgar Cayce
The list goes on and on, enjoy discovering more for yourself…