Why so quiet? You see my unveiling of the art part of my guardian angel, and then... silence. This is why I was hesitant to post my experience with you all. Why would you keep reading this when the best part is not happening? My message from my guardian angel.
I think it is the fear that sets in, or at least the uncertainty. What will people think if I can't get a message from my own angel? Why would they trust I can accomplish theirs? The logical side of my brain says "You can't post this! It's a marketing nightmare, you can actually lose sales over this. No one wants to hear this."
The truth is that I have not tried to get my message yet. I have been sitting with her, placing her with me when I work even. I created a guardian angel for a friend of mine and she takes her everywhere with her, talks to her, and gets lots of messages back. I guess I thought maybe this would happen to me. So, I hang her near me as I work. Yet I have not tried to actively get a message.
So, there is my tiny update everyone, posting in hopes that it will 1) get my butt in gear to try it 2) show you that if you experience the same thing, you are not alone, and 3) maybe nudge you to try whatever intuitive exercise you have been thinking about but have not started.
This is my public commitment to try to channel her message. Here I go...
An update on my journey to making my own guardian angel as I do for others. This has been very enlightening indeed. When I create an angel for someone, the process goes pretty much the same, I center myself, give thanks, and ask just the angel I am creating to come forward front and center to my mind's eye so I can see them, feel them, get a sense of their personality. I often get images right away, and I start to pull fibers. In a way I hear them saying "not that blue, a deeper one", or "oh, I hadn't thought of that, that is nice." I don't hear clear voices, it is more like a thought in my head that isn't really mine. And sometimes I seem to lose the "connection" to them and I have to either re-group or stop and come back later.
So I centered, and asked my angel to come forth. I said "I am creating an angel for Claire Demarest, please have her primary, feminine energy angel come to the forefront." I saw the purples again and felt confident it was her showing me and not me making it up. She gave me much clearer images this time. She was in a very full dress with a tight bodice. Her hair is dark blonde with ringlets, swooped up on her head with some cascading down. And then she seemed to take a deep breath and show me that her aura is gold.
My next step was to look at all my fibers, and start pulling out ones I think are what she showed me. Here is what I pulled. I went back and forth and back and forth. Some were to bold or bright, not quite the color she showed me. The second image is what I narrowed it down to.
As I started working, I noticed that it felt very comfortable, it felt very familiar, more like she was looking over my shoulder and guiding me, not presenting herself in my mind's eye. I realized that I feel this a lot, and maybe just wasn't realizing in my daily life that this was her. I asked if this was true and the thought I got back was "Of course. This is how we work together, I am showing you that I am always with you, whispering behind you into your ear. This is how we work together, it is different than when you call on someone's angel. You are trying to do this process of making me as you do other's, but we are actually going to practice working together as we do always."
The next hour was more like a conversation, us working together, collaborating what fibers to use and how she would look. She was pretty clear on some things, and on other things, such as the detail work, she got excited about something I pulled out and said "oh, let's try that" or "can we do this instead". I asked her why she kept changing her mind and why she had me redo a few things. She said simply "Because I can." I said that was a little presumptuous. And then several layers of her meaning came forth.
First, she was doing this partly for practice with me. Trusting, getting to know her "thoughts" verses my own. I realized what a gift this is. She was showing me that I can actually have that much of a connection with angels and how cool is that! Second, she simply enjoyed it and reminded me it is as much about the process, the joy of being in the moment, as it was about the "finished product." And let me tell you, she was enjoying the process. Finally, it was reminding me how fun and rewarding it is for angels to be able to take a more dense form - my gift to these angels is helping them, even if as a small soft sculpture, to have form.
When it came to her wings, she most definitely showed me the very large, white wings that point up to the sky. I saw them as having quite large, distinctive wings tips going all the way down. I started to make them, and she changed her mind, liking the more wispy feel of the ones I made. Then came the halo. She kept showing it as a glow, not an actual halo, and reminded me that halos are the way painters tried to portray the aura they saw around the head of the angels. That it is not a physical thing, it is their aura. And hers is gold. So I am still working on it, nothing I do seems quite right.
And her hair is not quite right yet either. I need to create tiny ringlets still. Finally, she wants some gold bead work, so I am still working on that. Oh, and finally, finally, she wants her arms to be a darker purple, with less pink. Yep. I tried to be okay with the lack of ringlets in her hair, and her sleeves being a little too pink, but every time I think about her or look at her, those pop into my head. As I sit here, I know those are my thoughts more than hers. That is my need as an artist to get it right. I think this is a good thing, if I am going to make an artistic, physical representation of the image they show me, I want it to be accurate, and what they want it to be.
So, minus those things I just mentioned, here she is in almost complete form!
This is the third day I have worked on this, and it is very interesting indeed. I will try to include a lot of photos to give you visuals.
First, a little about the process I go through when creating someone's guardian angel. All I need is the person's name, although a little background is nice since I receive a message from the angel and I sometimes want clarification or more specifics that I think will most help the person.
Here is my work station, a little messy for sure:
I started out doing what I always do, taking a moment to center myself and get focused. I do this through an exercise of "dropping from my head to my heart", you can read about it HERE if you would like. Once I feel connected to and at my heart, I hold the Celestite and call in the guardian angel I am going to create. It goes something like this. "Guides and Guardians, thank you for this opportunity, thank you for being with me, keeping me safe and focused, and help me to get out of my own way so I can truly be open to hearing, seeing, sensing, knowing the guardian angel for ___________. As much as I love working with all of you, I ask that JUST the guardian for ____________ please come forward, front and center. I ask that you come to me in a way that I can understand, and create into a piece of art. I ask that you show me clearly what you want __________ to see and know. Thank you."
I then just breathe and see what comes. It often seems that not a whole lot is coming to me, just an image or phrase, but when I go to work on what I saw, or write down the images and feelings I get, a lot flows out of me. Kind of like a book vs. a movie; what takes 2 pages to describe in a book can be a 5 second scene that actually tells so much of the story.
I first saw an actual angel that I had already created. I asked if that was really true, and to show me again. So, I went to look for her photo. I tried very hard not to look at the painting I have of my guardian angel from Angels by Sharae, but given she is right above me, I did anyway. And…. you guessed it, I started doubting myself. I thought "You are just picking colors in your own head that are from the painting, you aren't actually talking to her. "
I asked again for clarification, saying "Let's start over, are these really your colors? And I saw BRIGHT YELLOW instead. Someone once told me "You think your favorite colors are yours, but they aren't. They are your guardian angel's colors." Light purply-pink is not one of my favorite colors. I like it fine, but not as much as I like deep purple. And I DO love yellow. I created an angel awhile back that said she wanted to come forth. I loved making her, posted her for sale, assuming someone would claim her. No one has, so I went to hold her and see if maybe I had created my own, but got an instant NO, I am all yellow. Is she yours maybe?
So, I decided to take a break. I left for awhile and came back but my ego-mind tried to trick me into thinking I needed to create Solace first, as she was going to help me. I entertained it as I have been wanting to create a horse for awhile now, but realized that this was of course ego distracting me in a big way - that would be a week long distraction! (If you are unsure who Solace is, read the post before this.) I decided that was silly and went to work on Cougar for awhile, I really needed to get him done anyways. And look at the result!
So I'll try again. I am not discouraged, actually, it honestly feels like she is near and kind of using this as a "teaching moment". About trust, about confidence, and maybe even about getting unfinished projects done before embarking on new ones...
Tune In for my next attempt!
Thank you for joining me on this journey. I truly hope that through my experience you also gain insights and things to try to connect with your own guardian angels!
To remind you of my reason for doing this and sharing it with you, is that it really started bothering me that I can so easily connect with other's guardian angels, so why is it so hard to connect with my own? I have never tried to connect with them in the way I do other people's during my creation process. Since I am such a private person, I can only assume it was my angels who put this notion in my head to share it with all of you.
This is what happened today. I decided to do a card pull to just see what was drawn. I have many card decks, I admit. A lot of them I don't actually use that much. The first one you see is the first deck I received from Doreen Virtue during my "Angel Therapy Practitioner" training. The $5 you see is the first payment I received from a fellow student during the last day of our training, when we did readings for each other. I keep it in my deck to remind me of that amazing week long training I did. I have never pulled this card before, I don't even recall seeing it in the deck.
OMEGA CARD: Victory! Your desire is coming to fruition. Keep up the good work!" A little corny? I agree, but read the message behind it. This is what I pulled from that: "When you listen to what your heart whispers, you swim in natural synchronicity. Stay relaxed and confident... if you notice problems... it simply means you are temporarily out of sync... no need for shame, simply release your doubts to Heaven, and rest assured that a happy outcome is yours."
Next I pulled a card from my trusty companion deck with Archangel Michael. I figure he will have something to say. I was right, direct and to the point as always.
ARCHANGEL MICHAEL CARD - YOU CREATED THIS SITUATION AND YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE IT: In summary, I took away this message. "This card is a reminder that you are a powerful creator... you have the skills to rise above... as long as you blame you will remain stuck... Call upon God and Archangel Michael, and then take charge according to your (their) guidance... make a list of action steps and then follow through."
Of all the cards I could have pulled, these really hit home and are right on the money. Good reminders, good support.
So even though this journey is to artistically create and connect to my own guardian angels, clearly I have another guardian helping me out. I am not sure of her name. I at first thought I knew, but like with my angels, am unsure of myself. For the time being I am calling her Solace. This is in honor of a truly amazing horse (black Tennessee Walker) that played a huge part in my life several years ago. She has since passed, but has never been forgotten. Who knows, maybe this is Solace still with me in a new-ish form?
Tune in to my next entry to see what happens next :).
Claire (& Solace)
I have decided to take a journey with my own guardian angels, and I invite you to join me. I create artistic representations of guardian angels, and channel a message from them to the person I am making it for. It comes easily to me, I love it, and believe I am very good at it. So I thought, why not try my own? Actually, I sat for a few minutes trying to connect with my guardian angels and this is the message/thought/insight that came to me. It may be my own idea, or they may have planted it. Either way, I like it!
I know I have my own angels, and I have received their names and messages from other angel practitioners, even a painting. However, something has not felt quite right about it. I seem to have some sort of block with my own guardian angels. I wonder if it is because the information I have needs to be tweaked or clarified, or, as much as I love and trust the people who have given me insights on my angels, to simply change.
So… I am going to create my own as if I was a customer. I am going to document the process and share it with you, from my attempts, to my changes, to my messages, to photos of my process. I hope this is valuable to you and can give you some insight into working with your own angels. I know many of us have doubts that we in fact hearing our guides, understanding them, or even actually have them. So maybe my insecurities can help decrease yours.
The determination to do this. This is two-fold - as in a decision to do and share this, and as a descriptor of what I will need to get through this. I am a private person and don’t share a lot with strangers or even acquaintances and friends. I can admit I have a fear of judgement and people thinking “Wow, she is not qualified to make my angel, she is too messed up herself”. So now that is out of the way. Phew.
Releasing expectations. This is huge, and something I also struggle with. I think this will be a theme I revisit throughout the process. An expectation of an outcome is like putting up a wall – it keeps truths you aren’t aware of from being able to come in. This includes self-imposed pressures. I need to let this journey unfold as it is supposed to. I will journal on this tonight and give the summary in my next post. No one needs to be a part of my inner dialogue…
Having Fun. In almost every channeling message I do from people’s guardian angels, they tell their beloved human to HAVE MORE FUN! Nough said.
I am excited and apprehensive as I write this, but it feels right, so here we go!
Angel Blessings, Claire
FROM THE Author
Thank you for visiting my Blog. I try to write engaging, relevant, and well thought out posts. I want my blog to be a place to enrich your thoughts and creativity.
All art is created 100% by Claire at Sacred Balance Art. Each piece is one of a kind, made with fibers from ethically treated animals, and always made with love and respect for the process and the people for whom she is making the energy art.
Art is meant for fun and entertainment only, not any form of professional advise.
Claire does not diagnose or prescribe, and the healing art or sessions are not a replacement for certified medical care.
Claire donates $1 to her local animal shelter for every order placed.